Hello again, ROAR!!

Hello again all monkeys, roar! It has been long time since I blogged, and you must be wondering what's going on in wild world of Mr. Lion. Roar. I have petitioned nature and house channels to do a special on me, but they not interested, roar. Hey, roar, how cool am I?

Lion ladies watch out, I am on the prowl, ROAR!

Back in June, Hiroko and little monkey had to go to Japan for a while. They took plane, roar. This is thing for flying in the air. No thank you, roar! I always land on feet, but...still.

While they were gone, it was bachelor time around the house again. I got a little crazy, roar. Here is me playing video games and eating Hiroko's tea candy, roar:


Also, I got a little crazy with the eating, roar.

And...umm...no comment on this last picture. Roar. Oh, I'm going to need that ibuprofen in the morning. So hard to get open with tiny stuffed paws. Roar!

But just so you know, it wasn't all fun and games. I also helped Bob paint living room and kitchen. I have steady hand, roar. Here is me doing the cornering. Roar!

Despite the good time Bob and I had with the house to ourselves, we are glad that Hiroko and Ren are home. After all, I need to be fed. ROAR!

I'm in a world of Chuzzle, Roar!

Hello everyone, roar! At my house, all the monkeys play video games. It looks like waste of time to me, roar. Time you could spend sleeping or hunting, roar!

This picture is me in the game Chuzzle. It's like my own disco, roar! I could really pick up the lady lions if they saw me here. ROAR! I am disco dancer lion, roar.

All things are good with family, roar. You might have seen picture of me and my little sister Ren frolicking at her website. I know in that picture it looks like we're having fun together, but don't get the wrong idea, roar. Any second, I could tear her to little pieces because I am fierce lion, ROAR!

Actually we spend a lot of time together and I have been doing good job taking care of her. Roar. With the mice gone, I have had to hunt harder stuff. I caught this wolf in her crib and took care of it, roar. I will eat like a king (a lion king) for weeks. Roar!

That's about it. I hope all you monkeys are okay, and feel free to write anytime, roar. As for myself...well...sometimes even I fall victim to the video games. ROAR!

I'm a Big Brother now, ROAR!

I know what you're thinking, roar. Which one is cuter!? I can't even decide myself, roar!

Hiroko and Bob finally had their baby monkey. We all went to some place I've never seen before where it was all white everywhere, and there were lots of monkeys in costumes, roar. Then I had to leave for a while, so I'm not sure what happened, but when I came back they had a tiny monkey! Monkey's name is Ren, and she is my little sister. ROAR!

I'm not sure what happened to the rest of Hiroko's litter. I'm gravely concerned, ROAR!! I can only assume there are wild animals in the hospital. I have therefore put myself on 24 hour watch, roar.

Ren is a really awesome baby. I look forward to knowing her as my sister, roar. I think I'm closer to her than anybody else in the house, roar. This is because I speak baby monkey, which I picked up in the jungle, roar. Cry of baby monkey is similar to roar of lion, after all. Unfortunately, all Ren really says is "I am hungry", "I am sleepy", and "I need to be changed", roar. But I already love her, because she is just so darn cute, roar! (Even for monkey, roar).

At first, Ren was in plastic bucket, and I wasn't allowed in, roar. This was a little like when you go to the zoo to see lion, except in reverse, roar. Here's a picture of me pressed up against the glass, roar:


Bob and Hiroko make Ren wear clothes and diaper, roar. I have explained that these would be unnecessary if we all moved to Africa and got a watering hole, roar. But you know these monkeys and their "houses", roar. So primitive!!

Eventually we were allowed to play together, roar. This was important so I could confirm that she had the proper number of body parts, roar. You never know when a cheetah or mongoose is going to eat your baby toes, roar. Here is a picture of me checking out Ren's toes, which, fortunately, were all there:


So as you can see, I am doing a good job, ROAAAR! Thank you for listening, roar. Send food, roar. Er...for the baby. If necessary. Roar!!

It's All About the Lions, Baby

What is up, my homeys, roar! Mr. Lion in the house! Some day when I run your country, I will put myself on your money, like this, ROAR! Then you can all think of me when you are doing your money thing. Lions don't have money, roar. We want something, we take it, ROAR!

Lately I have learned there is mouse in house. House has mouse, roar! As chief lion and wild animal defense expert of house, I am greatly concerned, ROAR!! Something must be done before you monkeys start to think I have gone soft. Well, obviously as stuffed lion, I am always soft, but you know what I mean, roar.

Mouse has eaten some crackers and noodles in cabinets, roar. Mouse also ate snickers bars in box by sofa, roar! Yes, it was definitely mouse that ate delicious candy, and not lion during middle of the night when everyone was asleep, roar. Rest assured about that. I should say, I assume candy was delicious. As definitely creature who did not eat candy, I wouldn't know, roar.

Mouse also left droppings, roar. That is gross, ROAR! Mr. Lion never leaves droppings. It is one more advantage to having lion who is stuffed as your friend.

Anyway, Bob put traps with peanut butter all over house. Let me tell you something about these traps-they can definitely hurt your paws, roar! You definitely don't want to lick that peanut butter, no matter how...sweet and tempting...ROAR! Of course we will not need traps, but just to make Bob feel good, I will put mice I catch inside the traps, so he thinks it is him, roar. He will think I am being lazy and sleeping all night. But I am definitely out catching mice, roar! I'm just so stealthy you can't even hear me stalking. I'm, like, ninja lion. ROOOAR!

Mr. Lion Update

Hello monkeys. Roar! Since we last spoke, the snow has come, roar. We didn't have that in Africa, Roar! Bob does not seem to like it. Especially when he has to go like he does everyday, roar. Incidentally, did you know that male lions sleep 20 hours a day, while the females do our hunting? ROAR! Also, when mating, we copulate 20-40 times a day. I would like to point out how sweet it is to be a lion, roar.

Hiroko is very big now, roar! Her belly moves on its own. I think it is the little monkey inside, roar!! I like to rub my head against it and purr. Lately all Bob and Hiroko talk about is the new monkey. Roar. They should remember they also have a lion, roar. I understand they have named the baby after a flower, roar. That is very lame. Baby needs name like Simba or Nala, roar.

Now listen, monkeys. I'd like to deviate from talking about Bob for a second. Last time I told you to send food, roar. Even stuffed lions need to eat, roar. You do not want to get on my bad side, roar. I am two and a half inches of pure muscle. ROAR!!

Mr. Lion and Me

This is my favorite photo, and the one that appears in my profile. It's a picture of myself late on the wedding day with my best friend, Mr. Lion. He's been with us since I met him at FNCC in 2004 and brought him back to Illinois.

This picture was taken by Laura Hamm-Goetchell, our wedding photographer. She was great.

A Special Message From Mr. Lion

Hello everyone, Roar!! I'm Mr. Lion, Roar! I'm Bob's best friend and #1 chief lion of this house ROOOAR! Bob is also my favorite monkey as well. Whenever there is a mouse or elk or...let's see... elephant or....water buffalo...or...um...wildebeest...which needs to be slaughtered, or a naptime which needs to be napped, I am ready to handle it like only the king of the jungle could, roar! Also I am cute. Roar.

You will have to come back to Bob's blog if you want to get updates on me roar. I promise to tell you all about my best naptimes, snoozes in the sun, and...ummm...other stuff that I do. That I can't tell you about right now but it's really interesting, and you could be scared by all...um...

Anyway, I have been living with Bob a long time and I can tell you all about him. ROAR! Ok, so, every day we get up together and say hi to his wife, then I go back to bed. Then later I get up and he comes home, roar. I don't really know where he goes all day, but I don't think he likes it. Then he comes home and does some stuff...I don't really pay attention, roar. Then he goes to sleep, where I'm usually at, and we talk a while. Roar.

There used to be a taller, redheaded monkey around here as well. I miss him sometimes, roar. And Africa, I really miss Africa. Also Bob and Hiroko are breeding now, roar. Which is pretty typical of the monkeys I know...ROAR!

I lead a pretty good life considering I'm only a stuffed lion, roar!! Thank you monkeys for your time. Send food.