Run Forest, Run!

So Forest Whitaker won best actor for portraying Idi Amin. Personally, I don't think his performance was as good as his brilliant turn in Battlefield Earth. He'd taken a lot of flak recently for incoherent speeches at other awards shows (but at least he didn't thank Hitler). I thought he played it cool though.

It's funny that it would be Forest though, because on Friday night around midnight, I was half-drunk from Old Style Light and watching Bloodsport on the Spanish channel. It's the type of thing you do when you have a kid keeping you up and no cable. Actually, some movies are a lot more entertaining and easier to follow if you aren't distracted by the dialogue, such as Broken Arrow, Predator 2, or Commando.

Anyway, so as I say we're watching Jean-Claude steal lines and moves from Enter the Dragon while doing his best Johnny Cage when I suddenly realize the movie's black guy is...Forest Whitaker! Wow, how'd a legitimate actor end up in this schlock, especially after making Platoon, The Color of Money, and Good Morning Vietnam? Huh, movie coincidences.

Bloodsport is actually a true story based on the life of the film's action coordinator, Frank Dux. And by "true" they mean "colossal pack of lies". Dux once hilariously showed off the trophy he got from the fight portrayed in Bloodsport, and the LA Times proved that he'd bought it at a store hours earlier. Other amazing made up facts about Dux's life include his incredible turn as a paramilitary secret agent for the CIA.

Bloodsport also stars Ogre. That dude is cool. Cooler than John-Clod.

Bloodsport was Van Damnit's breakout movie. He stopped playing gay dudes and background dancers and launch a still-continuing career as a brainless guy who hits things until they're better. Admired by red-state maladjusted teen boys everywhere, he was too big for the 8 million Bloodsport sequels, but he did star in a long series of B-list "action" films with ironically homoerotic titles, such as Double Impact, Hard Target, Double Team, The Hard Corps, and the ironically titled Knock Off.

I wonder if Forest takes his calls.

Immortal question: who's a more embarassing artifact of the 90s, Jean-Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal?