Father's Day 2007

Wrigley Field - Father's Day 2007 - Priceless
Originally uploaded by melmanintex

This is a picture from my father's flickr site. Hiroko and Ren were in Japan for Hiroko's father's funeral, and my parents visited me for the weekend. so we all got to go to the game for Father's Day.

It was the only game I saw this year. I was excited to see Rich Hill for the first time (and Maddux pitching in Wrigley again), but he had one of his worst outings and the Cubs fell to San Diego.

Pictured here is the three of us, with the ghost of Harry Caray about to beat my father with his microphone. I've blogged about the statue before.

By the way, Go Cubs Go!

My baby just wanted to let you know: don't worry, the Cubs are going to win it.

Good Morning America, How Are You?

This blog has suddenly seen a huge burst of hits over the last week, from people googling Steve Goodman, and ending up at my old post about him.

There's a recent biography about Goodman out, but mostly I think it's probably Cubs fans wondering about "Go Cubs Go", Goodman's song that's getting a lot of airplay as the Cubs prepare to in the division. (something I'm pretty excited about)

So I thought I'd just say hello to anyone who checks out my blog. Hi, world, and thanks for finally making my blog quasi-popular for a week or two. It's nice to know somebody besides my parents saw this for once.

Obviously I'm not really updating anymore, but if you happen to want to see some really cute baby pictures, check out my daughter's blog.

Catching Up

It's obviously been a very long time since I blogged, and I apologize. I do plan on going back to an average-1-a-day schedule. Currently I have tons to post, so it should be easy. Also check out my blog for my daughter for pictures and stuff.

Let me try to catch up categorically with everything that's been going on.

Personal Life
We bought a house. For real and sure this time, I swear. Not like the last four times. I'll have pictures really soon; the inspection should be this week. All we have to do now (as before) is sell our place. But we've dropped price again and the market is looking up, so we're pretty confident.

There was a massive cascading hardware failure at work two weekends ago, that cost our tech department hundreds of hours of overtime. If the original failure hadn't been Friday night (giving us until Monday morning to get things back up) the AMA could have been in serious trouble. We're all working super hard to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Hiroko added to her endless medical travails by having another kidney infection, and she was feverish and in pain for a week. Also she got a huge blister that a dermatologist is just guessing is some kind of bite. Poor lady.

Sports
The Bears lost the Superbowl. It sucked a lot. We took Ren to a party, which was her first significant time outside the house.

It's 41 days until baseball, and just a few days until spring training games. I am very excited. I'll be posting more and more Cubs stuff over the next couple months. Maybe I should just make another blog...

Chess
I've been playing about an average of 1 game a day online, and playing my best chess ever.

Also Morelia, a major international tournament is going on right now. There's been one big upset. But probably if you care you already knew.

Poker
Last April, Jamie Gold won the 2006 World Series of Poker, which, if measured in participation and money involved, was the largest sporting event in history. He won $12 million. But it came out later that before the tournament, he'd verbally agreed to give half of any of his winnings to another guy. On February 7, he actually did it. That's some payout.

Also I have big news personally about poker, but I'll save that for a separate post.

Okay, that's all I can think of at the moment. Much more to follow in the coming days.

Dinner Party Story #2

This second Dinner Party Story is about how Hiroko and I met. Here's the first story, if you missed it.

You can't understand the story of Hiroko and I without understanding that we're both devoted Nichiren Buddhists. She's been a member for life, and was already very active as a local leader when I started going to meetings in 2002. In fact, she was at a couple of the very first meetings I went to, and we seemed to have a habit of running into each other.

But she pretty much disliked me. I don't blame her. I hadn't yet discovered and practiced the kind of self discipline this faith can provide. I thought my biggest problems were depression and aimlessness. Those masked more fundamental problems of distrust, doubt, and selfishness. I found Hiroko attractive, but only in the general sense that the despondent are attracted to anyone with a spark of life in them.

For two years I practiced Buddhism and had a lot of growth, but it was inconsistent. I was changing though, becoming generally more happy. I was starting to learn compassion and empathy as skills. I was starting to support those around me, really, listen and care.

At the end of 2003, I was doing a lot of Gajokai, but I wasn't yet in charge of the program. Since she was in the Byakuren, the equivalent young women's' program, we spent a fair amount of time together behind the desk. See this picture of her? Cuuuuuuuute!


I used to think she was quiet and reserved, since that's how she acted at the center. I teased her about it incessantly. It also meant she got to be witness to the big change Buddhism wrought in my life. She told me she was very glad to see an American so excited about the practice.

At the end of 2003, I went to the Florida Nature and Culture Center, a Buddhist weekend retreat and conservation site. It was a transformational experience, where I had a chance to meet hundreds of youths who all had the stand alone spirit to develop their compassion. I was witness to how Buddhism could be used to directly make the world better. I came back feeling responsible for my life and the lives of those I loved in a new way, and threw myself into my favorite activities. My entire life was very fit. My little brother David also began attending meetings at this time.

Hiroko noticed all these changes. One day when I was walking her to the train, she suddenly said, "You should call me up. I will come to your house if you make me dinner". She claims this wasn't an invitation to a date (yeah right) but the date was set for right after Thanksgiving.

Since I was (and am) a geek I knew nothing about inviting someone to dinner, so I spent an entire weekend quizzing my relatives (including my brother in law who loves to cook), buying new dishware and table settings, and cleaning house. The dinner (date?) went well and was soon repeated.

In March, we did a short tour of the Midwest including Kentucky's natural bridge park, and a John Mayer concert. Hiroko met my parents on this trip. On Memorial Day we went to Florida for my little brother's Gohonzon conferral, his formal induction into Buddhism. Here's a picture I love of us in a wharf restaurant:


On Labor Day, I asked Hiroko to marry me in the Signature Room of the John Hancock Building, during Navy Pier's last fireworks display of the season. The ring was inherited and Hiroko's the fourth generation of my family to wear it, so I purchased us a beautiful new altar instead. It better represents our relationship anyway.

It was a quick courting, but we both "just knew". And we were right. I didn't know it at the time, but we barely knew each other then. The real discoveries of marriage come well after the ceremony, and I'm definitely still learning. The deepening of trust and interdependence grows stronger all the time.

We got married in secret on April 28, in a short ceremony at the Chicago Culture Center. This was done to expedite Hiroko's visa. But the date was chosen because it was the first time Nichiren Daishonin chanted nam myoho renge kyo.

Our real marriage was on September 11 (yeah, I know, but it was cheaper), 2005. It's a long enough story to save for another time. It was a glory and a trial.

But one major challenge came between the betrothal and the marriage: meeting Hiroko's father. It's a story of epic proportions, and I will tell it next. Stay tuned.

Watching Da Bears

My parents came into town last weekend. It was their first chance to see Ren. Mom was very pleased with her ability to feed and play with a baby for a while. It was a whiplash-visit over the 3 day MLK weekend, cut off even more because they got worried about inclement weather and took off on Sunday afternoon. I figure they spent just a little more time in Chicago than they did driving back and forth from their home in Lexington.

One cool thing that went on was I got to actually go to a bar, and have a beer, which I haven't done in six months (as I was not drinking during the pregnancy). I took my Dad to hook up with some guy friends and watch the Bears/Seattle playoff game, which the Bears won in incredible fashion in overtime.

Here's a small picture set of the guys at the bar. Most everybody at the table is a Soka Gakkai youth leader.

I wrote a little more about my parents here at my blog for my daughter.

Head Buried Deep

Hi,

Okay, I know it's been a week since I blogged. No excuse other than business when I'm busy, and lack of energy when I'm not. I've got a few things half-written. Lots of pictures taken which I ought to be showing to you rather than talking about them. But just so we're updated:

• The Chicago Bears won the first round of the playoffs. Normally I don't care that much about football, but it was a great game. And I do care about hanging out with the guys. Also I got to watch the game with my dad, which I liked.
  
• Speaking of which, my dad and mom were in town for about 24 hours. It was supposed to be longer, but Chicago's in a snowstorm so they bolted early. It was my parents' first chance to see my daughter Ren, which was cool.
• I've been really focused on Chess, for whatever reason, lately. My yahoo chess rating is the highest it's ever been.
  
• My kid is healthy, my wife is great. I've even lost a couple pounds. And there's been some nascent interest indicated in someone buying my house (finally). so things are going well. Yay me.
  

I'm a Big Brother now, ROAR!

I know what you're thinking, roar. Which one is cuter!? I can't even decide myself, roar!

Hiroko and Bob finally had their baby monkey. We all went to some place I've never seen before where it was all white everywhere, and there were lots of monkeys in costumes, roar. Then I had to leave for a while, so I'm not sure what happened, but when I came back they had a tiny monkey! Monkey's name is Ren, and she is my little sister. ROAR!

I'm not sure what happened to the rest of Hiroko's litter. I'm gravely concerned, ROAR!! I can only assume there are wild animals in the hospital. I have therefore put myself on 24 hour watch, roar.

Ren is a really awesome baby. I look forward to knowing her as my sister, roar. I think I'm closer to her than anybody else in the house, roar. This is because I speak baby monkey, which I picked up in the jungle, roar. Cry of baby monkey is similar to roar of lion, after all. Unfortunately, all Ren really says is "I am hungry", "I am sleepy", and "I need to be changed", roar. But I already love her, because she is just so darn cute, roar! (Even for monkey, roar).

At first, Ren was in plastic bucket, and I wasn't allowed in, roar. This was a little like when you go to the zoo to see lion, except in reverse, roar. Here's a picture of me pressed up against the glass, roar:


Bob and Hiroko make Ren wear clothes and diaper, roar. I have explained that these would be unnecessary if we all moved to Africa and got a watering hole, roar. But you know these monkeys and their "houses", roar. So primitive!!

Eventually we were allowed to play together, roar. This was important so I could confirm that she had the proper number of body parts, roar. You never know when a cheetah or mongoose is going to eat your baby toes, roar. Here is a picture of me checking out Ren's toes, which, fortunately, were all there:


So as you can see, I am doing a good job, ROAAAR! Thank you for listening, roar. Send food, roar. Er...for the baby. If necessary. Roar!!

I'm a Daddy

I see trees of green
Red roses too I see 'em bloom
For me and for you And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.

This is the first song that came on the radio, how about that?

Ren Akiko Goodfriend, born 1pm today, 7lb3oz. Everything smooth and easy. More later.

You can call tonight but I might not answer...I'll try to answer tomorrow. You can _ask_ about visiting tomorrow afternoon.

Here Are The Pictures!!
Movie to follow at a later date.

Dinner Party Story #1 -- Hiroko's Parents Meet

This is the first in a series where I explain the origins of my family. The first story is about how Hiroko's parents met. It sets the stage for the other two stories, after all.

See the picture on the left? Here's a close up. It's a newspaper clipping from the Seikyo Shimbun, a Soka Gakkai publication from Japan. It's a daily Buddhist newspaper. The photograph is from April 1968, of a gathering of young women from that year. Specifically you're seeing the photo as it's passed around this year's Christmas dinner party. The woman right under Pablo's ear is Yasuko.

Hiroko's father Kentaro saw the picture, and said, "I'm going to marry that woman!" So he sought out someone who knew her, and got himself introduced. At the time he was 31 and she was 23, but he knew that wasn't exactly an asset, so he told her he was 29. He waited until it didn't matter before finally confessing.

One big problem early in their relationship was that Kentaro accidentally went to jail. It's sort of a long story, but at this time in Japanese history, the Soka Gakkai was participating heavily to establish an election reform political party. The local police were on the established government's side and every year they'd round up a lot of Gakkai members on drummed up charges after the election. In 1968, Kentaro's mother had hosted some political operations at her house, so the police arrested her for election fraud. Kentaro, ignorant of the law, went to the police station and told them that his mother was frail and couldn't be in prison, and offered to change places with her...so the police arrested him as an accomplice. Kentaro refused to confess, saying "truth is truth". 21 days later, he was released and cleared of all charges (given that there was no actual evidence against him). The fact that Kentaro stood up for justice impressed Yasuko.

Kentaro and Yasuko were married 5 months after they met (which was reasonable at that time), in late September. They proceeded to have four children, all daughters, named Toshiko, Mayumi, Nobuko, and Hiroko, who was the last.

One month before Hiroko was due, Yasuko was cleaning the bathtub when her water broke. She got an emergency taxi ride to the hospital and Hiroko was born. Hiroko had spina bifida, a disorder in which one's spine is split at the tail end, and spinal fluid is leaking out. Given the gravity of her disorder, she should have died or been severely crippled. Due to the power of her parents' faith and their determination to have a healthy daughter, they saw her through 7-8 major surgeries, and Hiroko was in and out of hospitals for the first six years of her life.

Two different times, doctors told Yasuko that Hiroko required major surgery which would permanently cripple her to survive. Both times Yasuko refused to comply and prayed deeply for the best result. Both times, Hiroko's condition improved until she didn't need those surgeries.

As a result of seeing Hiroko through these surgeries, she became especially precious to her parents as an example of the result of their faith. I believe this has given Hiroko the sense of mission that's led her to focus on and empathise with the suffering of others. It also is something to keep in mind when you read the story of the first time I met her parents, which I promise to post soon.

Thanks for listening!

Dinner Party Stories

Every year since I bought my first house, we've had over a host of people for a potluck on/near Christmas who for whatever reason don't get to be with their family. It's always a great time with great conversation, and I get a great meal out of the deal. Since we know in particular a lot of young Japanese folk in Chicago through the Soka Gakkai, there's always a lot of people. There have been lots of others over the years, but this year it happened to be mostly Japanese young women. I've put together a full picture set here.

One thing that happened at dinner was we got to telling stories about how we met. This included Hiroko and I telling the story of how we got together, and Yasuko (my mother in law) telling the story of how she and Kentaro got together, and also about my trip to Japan and meeting Kentaro's father. These were all such great stories that I decided I'd better blog about them over the coming days. with everything else going on for me to blog about (or, alternatively get too busy to blog about) I don't know specifically when they'll come, but it's something I hope you'll look forward to.

Fun with Yasuko

My awesome mother in law Yasuko is in town. You can see pics and read some about it at my blog for my daughter. I thought I'd mention that among the gifts, yasuko borough summer kimonos (jinbei) for gifts for a lot of people. Here's a picture of me wearing my top.

After the gifts on Wednesday, we took Yasuko to eat at Joy Yee's in Chinatown, and then drove up Michigan so she could see the Christmas activity on the Magnificent Mile.

Also last night, in celebration of a difficult work week and not having to get up in the morning, I set up Battlelore. To my surprise, Yasuko took a great interest. She help me sort the pieces and board, and I explained the rules to her as best I could, given the rulebook is 80 pages long and we speak different languages... But I know the colors and numbers, so I could explain a lot. She got to roll all the dice. She definitely at least understood the magic (lore) deck, the deck for determining what the armies do (command cards), and who was attacking who. I even tried to explain the support rules, but the language barrier dropped. I played both sides, but at the end the side she was sitting at won, so she declared victory over me.

Yasuko also promised to teach me a version of Japanese chess. I'll keep you posted.

Pics from my dad

Check out a few pictures my dad took.