Dinner Party Story #1 -- Hiroko's Parents Meet

This is the first in a series where I explain the origins of my family. The first story is about how Hiroko's parents met. It sets the stage for the other two stories, after all.

See the picture on the left? Here's a close up. It's a newspaper clipping from the Seikyo Shimbun, a Soka Gakkai publication from Japan. It's a daily Buddhist newspaper. The photograph is from April 1968, of a gathering of young women from that year. Specifically you're seeing the photo as it's passed around this year's Christmas dinner party. The woman right under Pablo's ear is Yasuko.

Hiroko's father Kentaro saw the picture, and said, "I'm going to marry that woman!" So he sought out someone who knew her, and got himself introduced. At the time he was 31 and she was 23, but he knew that wasn't exactly an asset, so he told her he was 29. He waited until it didn't matter before finally confessing.

One big problem early in their relationship was that Kentaro accidentally went to jail. It's sort of a long story, but at this time in Japanese history, the Soka Gakkai was participating heavily to establish an election reform political party. The local police were on the established government's side and every year they'd round up a lot of Gakkai members on drummed up charges after the election. In 1968, Kentaro's mother had hosted some political operations at her house, so the police arrested her for election fraud. Kentaro, ignorant of the law, went to the police station and told them that his mother was frail and couldn't be in prison, and offered to change places with her...so the police arrested him as an accomplice. Kentaro refused to confess, saying "truth is truth". 21 days later, he was released and cleared of all charges (given that there was no actual evidence against him). The fact that Kentaro stood up for justice impressed Yasuko.

Kentaro and Yasuko were married 5 months after they met (which was reasonable at that time), in late September. They proceeded to have four children, all daughters, named Toshiko, Mayumi, Nobuko, and Hiroko, who was the last.

One month before Hiroko was due, Yasuko was cleaning the bathtub when her water broke. She got an emergency taxi ride to the hospital and Hiroko was born. Hiroko had spina bifida, a disorder in which one's spine is split at the tail end, and spinal fluid is leaking out. Given the gravity of her disorder, she should have died or been severely crippled. Due to the power of her parents' faith and their determination to have a healthy daughter, they saw her through 7-8 major surgeries, and Hiroko was in and out of hospitals for the first six years of her life.

Two different times, doctors told Yasuko that Hiroko required major surgery which would permanently cripple her to survive. Both times Yasuko refused to comply and prayed deeply for the best result. Both times, Hiroko's condition improved until she didn't need those surgeries.

As a result of seeing Hiroko through these surgeries, she became especially precious to her parents as an example of the result of their faith. I believe this has given Hiroko the sense of mission that's led her to focus on and empathise with the suffering of others. It also is something to keep in mind when you read the story of the first time I met her parents, which I promise to post soon.

Thanks for listening!